my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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