Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
