My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My balls are so social today.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
