that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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