I wannas sexs uuuuu
She is in my trunk
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
