Plan B is the new Plan A
I could have mohawked her pubes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
