I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
