Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
