I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm both gender and math confused
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
