Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
