She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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