i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
