Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
