so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
