I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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