It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
