Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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