we have officially lost it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
