dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
