Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
