watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
