Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
