Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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