This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
