hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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