i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
