I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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