I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
