He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
