If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
