Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
