So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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