I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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