It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
