Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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