my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
