I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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