garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
