went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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