think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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