Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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