Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
