ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
