what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
