So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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