There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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