Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
