If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
