Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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