there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
